Most people start couples therapy pointing their finger at their partner saying, “if you can just fix them everything will be fine in our relationship.” I’m interested in working with couples where each person takes responsibility for looking at what they are doing that gets in the way of meeting their needs in the relationship.
Couples therapy has the best chance of improving relationships when both people want to be there. Couples often want to work on communication skills and we will do that. We will also look further into how you got to this disconnected place and what you can do to recapture the closeness you once felt for each other.
If you’re not yet ready to commit to doing the hard work, please start on your own by eliminating these 4 behaviors that the Drs. Julie and John Gottman call The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. These destructive behaviors are predictive of breakups. Then when you are ready, we can work on positive replacement behaviors to create the loving, supportive relationship you each desire.